I have had a rough few months, proceeded by a rough life. So what? Who hasn't? It's really a matter of half full or half empty. The choice is, of course, left in my hands. And. I admit, I don't always make the wise choice.
Remember that one about when it rains it pours? Well that's where I reside. I'm sure that's where you all reside as well. I don't know that "it" ever isn't that way. Meaning I don't believe life is ever easy. I think sometimes our spirits are able to handle "it". Sometimes not so much. It's when I'm overwhelmed that I tend to feel like no one cares, or understands. Interestingly enough as I have been going through this where's-my-bonkie funk people have been praying for me.
How do I know?
Because they have told me so. Over and over again.
Now I am not the girl who bellows to all who will hear when I am down. No. I am the girl who hides under the rock. Yet
some how God placed the desire to not only pray...but tell me they were doing so, in the hearts of many, many people around me; strangers, casual acquaintances and those I am close to. He
was is there all along, if only I were to stop spinning long enough to look. Really. I know. Sometimes stating the obvious is what is needed.
All the trauma/drama/chaos that
was is bothering me is not the point. I am aware. It's high time I act like it. So many wonderful things have happened over the last few months. Some of which you would have read about through my boys blog. However they had to give that up...it proved to be "just one more thing". At any rate...onto the good, good stuff.
~ In the recent Court of Honor Ricky was given badges and has moved up in rank. Boyscouts in general has been a wonderful thing for him. He has met some really neat guys and loves all of the "man" stuff involved. Today he went on a snow day trip. The weekend before last he went to a party one of the boys was having. He has been a busy guy making gifts for so many people. He loves life and he loves people. He is our joy.
~Billy had to prove himself in semester #1 at Fresno City College. It is now semester #2 and he received every part he tried out for in the Latin/Jazz band. Through his first job he has paid for a full week African drumming camp to be held this summer. He is moving right along with his goals. He has reconnected with a long-time-ago friend. Attending her party was a highlight. He has also made a new friend, attending that party was great as well.
~My older brother, Eric has added three new additions to our family. Crystal, his fiancee, Nathan her son, and Zoey their little girl. Zoey?...she is adorable...need I say more? We were so happy to be able to give Nathan a birthday gift. We hope he feels he is our nephew. He is such a character! We enjoy him.
~I had a lengthy loving conversation with my sis-in-law Angela. I hold it close to my heart.
~Parties are great and we have had a few this month here at home, just us four. Chinese New Years found us eating take out from our favorite local spot. While we ate we watched Gladys Aylward's story on Netflix. Next came Valentines morning complete with chocolates and a new movie. We also had a lunch of heart shaped raviolis in an amazing sauce. Let us not forget our 100th day of School Shindig...which was also all about food. However this time we played games. These were easy breezy days. Very roll with the punches. I have to say it touches a tender spot deep in my mommy-heart that my teenage sons REALLY want a 100th day of school party. Somehow everything else from elementary school is for babies. Yet. This. Is. Sacred.
~Jeff was diagnosed with Vertigo. Yet even though he missed a week of work and went Dr hopping we/he did not suffer too badly. We are truly thankful.
~It looks as though our previous landlords are going to make right on their poor choices. So that is a happy ending to a retarded story.
~The IRS was lame, as they very often are, I guess it was our turn to be bit by the unconstitutional nastiness of it all. And yet we survived. We were so blessed. We paid all our bills before their inappropriateness took place. We experienced much less drama than could easily have taken place. We are really grateful.
~I was able to help a good friend with a huge organizational project...and be an encouragement. I just love that!
~I have been approached by a few people over the last few months who have expressed their gratitude for what they see in my life...and in turn have brought to their lives. Wow. Just wow.
~So many wonderful people have resurfaced in my life. It is just unbelievable. I. Heart. All of you!!
~I have learned to say no. I have drawn healthy lines in the sand. Yet I have also opened my heart to a whole new level of understanding and acceptance. God is good!
Two main points have been relearned over the last few months.
#1 God is in charge. He knows what is best. He loves me enough to tell me no when that is what I need to hear. He loves me enough to comfort me through my tantrums. He comforts my aching heart.
He knows.
#2 I have been given so, so much. I need to look at what I have, not what I don't have. I need to show gratitude. I need to say thank you...or bust!