Why do I have cats?

I am allergic to cats, yes its true. I can't cuddle up with my feline friends. I shut my door at night so they won't sneak in bed with me. I vacuum my furniture regularly (which they also scratch). They are the reason I can't have indoor plants. It is common for cats to try & use the soil for a liter box and that is bad, but my cat does worse. Kansas plucks each leaf or pedal right off the plant/flower. No, he doesn't eat the plants. They are toys in his eyes, well everything is really.
They are destructive! I left a ceramic sugar bowl out on my counter one night. I woke up the next morning to sugar all over the counter & cat scratches in it...not like litter scratches...but like they were batting at it. The ceramic dish was spared somehow. But fear not, they got into the dish drainer & knocked a platter onto the aggregate flooring. Millions of tiny fragments flew in every direction. I was barefoot. It was still dark. Yet I didn't step on even the tiniest of pieces. I made it to the light, but when I turned it on, I just wanted to turn it off & go back to bed.
No, this is not uncommon. Why do I have cats? I guess because even though they do things like scoop the acorns out of a bowl on the coffee table. They are cute and oh so funny! They make me laugh and I need to laugh. there you have it!